It’s like Telltale got hold of the rights to Zelda: Wind Waker.Īnd thankfully, the writing isn’t half bad. At some point along the trip a bit more story will happen, and you get a choice of some sort that dictates where you end up next. What usually happens is that you’re dropped at the far end of a new location, and you send your squad of bearded besties to riverdance all the way to the other end of that location. There’s no action, no challenge, and very little exploration with everything being presented in flat 2D. At some point circumstances will contrive to drop them back in their home town, where they catalogue their adventure for Captain Cappuccino and set out again. Every time the narrative starts we begin with the three amigos sailing off into the sunset, and you pick what charming, quirky thing they do when they’re confronted by specific events. The basic idea is that the story is on a loop, not in the manner of Majora’s Mask, but more akin to playing Heavy Rain over and over. I just wanted to break that Santa Claus-shtick and watch him angrily drink himself into a stupor, throwing bottles at the customers and swearing at them like a violent cousin of the Swedish Chef.Īnd maybe he does do that at some point, and I was making the wrong choices that caused me to miss that amazing scene. By meeting five, I really wanted somebody to come in and tell him that his wife had run off with the young musician who hangs around outside. Old Man Espresso in particular is so sugary that he was starting to make my teeth ache by the third time I met him. It always feels like every character has a constant twinkle in their eye, you know what I mean? Thankfully, most of the time it’s played-down enough to be legitimately endearing, but occasionally it pushes things too far and sounds like a kid’s story book – sadly not one of the ones where Willy Wonka tortures fat kids. There is something distinctly saccharine and occasionally a little too sweet about this game. They stumble upon a bottle containing a map, one that doesn’t seem to have been filled in properly, and the wise old coffee shop owner (just run with it for now) tells them that they have to fill it in themselves with all the adventures that they’re going to have. Full marks for thoroughness and accuracy. Our story begins with a trio of the stocky sailors burlying around in a fishing boat, which is, appropriately enough, at sea. You know what the cliché image of an Oscar-winning animated film is, right? That stereotype that says it looks very beautiful and has some vague ambitions to poignancy, but nothing really significant happens and it’s all rather inoffensive at the core?īurly Men At Sea feels like that stereotype, through and through. It’s something we’ve all seen before, in one form or another. Two hours of gameplay and not a single cover of “In The Navy?” Colour me disappointed, I must say.įor all my joking, the funny thing is that Burly Men At Sea is something I’ve seen done before. Well, this game was nowhere near as raunchy as I was hoping.
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